09.10.25 08:52pm

currently listening to: The Smashing Pumpkins - Disarm

So, this page was initially intended to be my blog page, but I realized that I already wasn't treating it like a blog. Not that there's any right way to write a blog, but I was acting like this was a journal. Soooo, I have named it as such. I will eventually add an actual blog for more thought out stuff, maybe like reviews orrr something? I honestly have no idea LOL. There's no rush although I do find that rushing is a serious problem for me. I get really scared about not finishing projects and so I try to finish it SUPER FAST, which obviously makes me burnt out. ^_^ yay!

Making quick little things is literally my favorite because there is deadass no stress. For example, before I starting writing this post, I cut out a stencil and made a patch. I will include a photo below:

It's based off of the Frank Iero song ".tragician.". The song is about insecurity and feeling like your own worst enemy, which I think is pretty relatable.

Anyway, I'm really glad I made that patch because I had been thinking about it for a while and it seriously did not take me that long. I definitely want to make it again and do the stencil differently cause the way I did it was seriously fucked. I need to make a stencil of the actual word instead of doing it letter by letter because I could not see what I was doing haha. I think I'm going to sew it on my Dickies jacket that I've slowly been adding patches to. Once I'm sew it on there I will for sure put up a pic somewhere :D

Another thing I did today was finally cancel my Spotify. I made the switch to Tidal and honestly their UI is pretty bad, but Spotify is SO EVIL. To be honest, it took me a long time to switch because I pay for my mom's spotify and it was giving me anxiety to ask her to switch to a different platform, but I overcame my anxiety and did it! I can already hear the difference and it's crazy how much I was paying spotify for the most shit quality LOL

I could probably keep going on but I'll end it here. There's some work I wanna do on my website. TTFN

09.09.25 12:15am

currently listening to: Daitro - Comme du papier

It's really late at night and here I am.. I just felt compelled to write out my first blog/journal entry. I have no idea how frequently I'm going to update this, especially because I tend to get burnt out on stuff or get bored pretty quickly. I was thinking about something, but I can't remember what. Hmmm.

I want to draw more and get better at art and I think maybe having this website will be good. I was thinking about just adding an art page where I upload doodles and they don't even have to be good or anything, but that's what I'm the most afraid of. My fear of fucking up or making something that I decide is bad is actually paralyzing. This is so ugh but I always think about how if I didn't have that fear maybe my skills would actually be at a place that I was proud of, but instead I just don't make anything. I know I should just START, but if you are mentally ill you know how hard it is.

Is this too depressing for a first entry? Hahahaha, I don't know.

Anyway, it's getting even later and I should attempt to get ready for bed. Work and school tomorrow...